Letters to JJ

Well, we did it buddy. We made it through your first Christmas.  Even though we didn't have you here physically, I know you were with us.  It looked absolutely nothing like what I had imagined for my baby's first Christmas. I always dreamed of getting to stay up late on Christmas Eve playing "Santa" with your dad. I couldn't wait to spend Christmas morning together in our home as a family. But our house feels so empty now without you in it. So we went back to the beach for Christmas and spent time with our families. It is important for us to remember that we have each other to lean on for support during this difficult season. The week before Christmas Mrs. Sharon and your friends at daycare had their Christmas party. Mrs. Sharon made sure to include you in every part of it. Your picture sat on the table while they decorated their gingerbread house and ate their snacks. Then they hung your ornament on the tree and sat by it while they exchanged their gifts. They ev

My sweet angel. Your smiling face looks so beautiful on top of our tree. I know that you are watching over us up there. But I so selfishly wish that you were spending your first Christmas here with us. This is not how it was supposed to be. This sucks. Going through this time of year without you here sucks. Everyone around us seems so happy celebrating and I can't even begin to enjoy any of it. How am I supposed to enjoy anything without you here? All I can think about is all the many "firsts" we were supposed to experience together in this season. I see all the other parents taking their kids to see Santa. I was so excited to take you. I had already picked out the outfit you were going to wear. Most parents hope to get one of those classic pictures of their kid crying while they sat on Santa's lap. I doubt I would have gotten one of those. You wouldn’t have cared that some strange old man was holding you.  You loved everyone you met. I know you would've had that